In love with Birthdays

Yesterday was my birthday! Every year, my perspective for this day evolves (effects of aging, I guess). I was reminded about a small plastic tub in our bathroom. The next thing I know is that we are on a search mission - old photo albums. After a series of digging expeditions and exploration, we found a picture.

The kid in this old photo is me (about 6 months old) and the lady, my beloved mother! The legend is… that the tub I am sitting in( which is unfortunately not visible in the old frame), while my Maa gives me a bath is the same yellow tub that I am holding today!

During a natural calamity, some 10 years back, we lost most of our childhood memories which included toys, board games, clothes, pictures, etc. Hence, anything that could remind us of our childhood and make us relive it for some moments has an immense value! In an era of instant gratification and consumerism where we use & throw things, I never knew a plastic tub could mean a treasure to me!

Do share in the comments what you found on your birthday! 

Thank you to each one of you for taking the time to wish me! Your messages and texts are Valuable! You are Valuable! 

In Love with Her

That day it was surely my good luck

That I met a girl who was weird as f*ck

She was a complete stranger with nothing in common to us

Yet, we kept on chatting on whatever could be discussed

She asked me out for our very first date

For me, this was new and yes it did motivate

She knew that she was pretty and had lovely hair

Because that is all she was told to by whomever she had an affair

But when I said that I was in love with her mind

She was doubtful if my words were pre-designed

She still trusted me for I looked genuine to her

I didn’t know that’s all she was looking for; Simplicity she did prefer

We kept meeting often and our conversations never stopped

All we did was text and redial, every time the call dropped.

We lost our inhibitions gradually with each other

As we shared all secrets comfortably, one after another

The hilarious part is that we both wanted to remain Single

We knew are weird people and we wanted not to mingle

But there is something unique in her that keeps me hooked to her

She is perfect for me, let just say “The ONE” as I prefer

Ooh… We also had a great time exploring one another

I’ll not get into details; this post might be read by our fathers!

It’s scary how we would make it through with all hurdles in our way

We stay on the opposite side of the planet, 10 thousand miles away!

Believe me! We’ll live all the dreams that we have woven together

Just don’t give up on me, and we’ll sail through whatsoever be the weather

I promise I’ll make every moment with me worthwhile

Because there is no greater happiness in this world to me, than to make you smile.

10 Things I Learned While Everyone Else Was Getting Married

1. Your ‘type’ changes drastically as time goes by.
Especially in your mid to late twenties. You start looking for deeper and more solid qualities like responsibility, honesty and integrity instead of fun, charming and super attractive. You begin to appreciate a partner you can talk to about meaningful things, about your problems, about your family and about your work because as you grow up, the things that matter to you change drastically too.

2. Finding the right career is more important than getting married.
Finding the right career for you is the most rewarding gift you can give yourself. It will give you something to look forward to and will always motivate you to grow and learn new things. It will make you a better person and a happier person and you will not have to depend on love to make you happy.

3. Modern dating sucks but it really teaches you a lot.
Modern dating sucks but with every dating disaster that happens to you, you learn one more thing about yourself and about the person you are looking for. You also learn how to love yourself and you learn that sometimes you have to choose being alone instead of being with someone who is not treating you right or someone who doesn’t want to define the relationship.

4. Invest in a few good friends.
Your friends will be your support system forever. The better friends you have, the easier your life will be. Good friends will get you through almost anything in life. Pick them wisely and you will always find someone to lean on when life gets rough. They will be your main backbone.

5. Don’t settle.
Don’t date someone just because you’ve been single for so long or because all your friends are married. Don’t stay in a relationship that is not good for you because it’s comfortable and don’t hold on to someone who doesn’t love you the way you deserve to be loved.

6. You have to know who you are before getting married.
Getting married when you’re in an unsteady place in your life makes you count on the relationship as the main source of your happiness and makes you follow your partner’s footsteps without stopping to ask yourself if this is what you really want.

7. Kids are not the answer.
Having kids does not mean you secured a spot in marriage paradise, if anything, it’s the ultimate test to determine how strong the marriage is. People who have kids when they’re not ready are really just setting their marriage up for disaster.

8. You will not ‘lose’ your married friends.
I think this is the biggest misconception – that you will not be talking to your friends who got married. Once they get past the honeymoon phase, everything will be back to normal and they will still be a phone call away.

9. You can make things happen alone.
You can get your dream job or buy that house or travel to this country without anyone’s help or approval. When you are growing up without being committed to someone, you truly have the world in your hands and you can just do whatever you want and become whoever you want. Being independent is a wonderful thing that will make you rich in so many ways. In this day and age, being single is actually a privilege — depending on the way you look at it.

10. Marriage is also not the answer.
I mentioned earlier that kids are not the answer but marriage is also not the answer. If you didn’t learn to find your happiness alone, you won’t find it in your marriage, if you didn’t learn to love yourself when you’re single, you won’t love yourself when you’re married, if you didn’t find yourself before marriage, you won’t find yourself after marriage.

People are told that marriage is what makes them complete but the truth is nothing can complete someone but themselves, their experiences, their passions, their hearts, their intelligence and their strength.



This article was orginally published by Rania Naim on www.thoughtcatalog.com

In Love with Indian Politics

If you are looking at this post to analyze which Political party I support or my arguments are biased towards which politician - I request you to please shut down the webpage immediately. It's a Common Indian's perspective that I am trying to share through my observation about it. And obviously, I am overwhelmed to write it today because it's a Historic Day in the Indian Politics where the underdog AAP defeats the mighty BJP or I should say crushed it. But more on that later. Let me tell you where it started with me.

I suppose my observation on Politics started in the nineties of the last century. I have been brought up, like most of you, celebrating Children's Day(call it by other name like Pandit Jawahar lal Nehru's birthday), Republic Day, Independence Day, Bapu's Birthday, Bhagat Singh, Subhash Chandra Bose and a hundred other people's Days.  I read about Democracy, Secularism, Federal System, Communism, Marxists in my curriculum books and everything was so easy and logical. Sometimes it was so easy in the books that I was left confused when I overheard the political discussion by the elders sitting at the Tea Stall in our locality.

Then one day I was eligible to cast my vote. I fell into a queue to submit documents so that I could get a Voter Id Card. Then another day, another queue for a Photograph - the Worst Photograph Ever! Then another queue to cast my first vote. I was keen to know the results. and hence followed almost all sources of information; Good, Bad & Ugly - all this after casting my precious vote. So, by the time the results were declared, I had already developed a disinterest; forget my expectations for the next 5 years.

This disinterest carried on, and meanwhile we changed residence. I missed out a Couple of Elections in between because technically I was not on the voter list. Things gradually changed within me with time. In my own sphere of life started realizing that blaming does not help. We really have to be the change we wish to see. All actions are cumulative. I, as an individual, can do a good or a bad job based on my power. Our MLAs & MPs are nothing but our Cumulative Representation. So their Job and Power is a Cumulative of all our Good or Bad Demands from them! And as we move up the hierarchy, the most powerful person's actions look huge.

Also, I learnt from my Job Roles, that as an outsider, you can just comment. To make a difference, you have to become part of the system, understand its strength & weakness thoroughly, and only then we can change it!

And this change started happening one day. Be it movies like NAYAK, and Rang De Basanti, be it the Kargil War, be it the nation Uprising against a Gang rape or be it the movement against corruption. I feel good to be part of such a fast changing nation. But on the other hand I also see that because we are becoming vocal to say it out loud about each other's Rights and Freedom, the Political leaders have changed their strategies.

9 Months back a Gentleman created history by a tremendous Political victory - A journey of a Chaiwala to the PM of India. And then today again another Common man created a history at the Delhi Vidhan Sabha elections! While the Media Channels are reporting only to increase their TRPs, I doubt who lost today? No one did!

As per my observation BJP already knew that Delhi would be touch to Win. Hence they persuaded Kiran Bedi to represent them. I am sure you would say they still Lost. Now consider this aspect. BJP's last few elections has been so minutely designed and planned that there isn't much scope of failure. Why did they fail here then? Or they wanted to Fail here? Given the clean Political image and almost No Background of AAP, it would have been tough to control AAP team to run campaigns in various parts of India for the next 5 years and disrupt the BJP work, if they were free to do so. But now since almost all the AAP candidates have won the election, they would be busy with their MLA task for the next 5 yrs, while BJP can concentrate on the whole of India. Considering what could be benefit of Congress and other BJP opposing parties in this elections, clearly they now have confidence that defeating BJP is possible! And do I need to say about AAP?

But most importantly, when all parties together would try to save their Grounds, the common man would be benefited. Hence I fell in Love with the Indian Political system today, all over again! Everyone wins, that's the power of Democracy!

In Love with Weddings

This is not exactly a continuation of my post "In love with Marriage", though it was among the most viewed, liked and shared! But this post is about what happens when a Couple or two Families decide to Marry! - I do believe in the fact that Love happens between two People and Marriages happen between two Families! This Event is called WEDDING and I see that expression on your face! I know you are In Love with Weddings - those couple of days when the extravaganza takes place!

But, if you are not, I'll tell you why you should be. If you are a kid (obviously not because you won't be reading this, but still let's consider), you have all the space to roam around in the place. Your mother is off either participating in the ceremonies, gossiping, helping in the preparations or a 1000 other jobs which the ladies take care at the wedding! You are allowed to get your clothes dirty, smash the glasses filled with water or other drinks, do all the things that you are generally prohibited if you were at home. And if you do get hurt during all this, or are bored, just Cry - loud enough and the world comes to you with all the animations that they can. And yes, the Chocolates.

But since you aren't a Kid. You may be a grown up Girl or Boy - School or College going! You don't really want to be here, because the elders would ask you the same old silly questions. "My goodness! You have grown So Big!" (obviously I'll grow! am I a Ball). Or, "Which class are you in?", Which College?", "Studying what?" etc, etc,. But then it's still manageable because that event becomes your meeting place for Cousins! You laugh off at silly jokes, have fun, Play! Brownie points if your Uncle and Aunts have brought Gifts for you! You also participate in the dance drama that nowadays happens at almost all the weddings, irrespective of the Religion! There is another good point for the late Teens and Early 20s of this category, but I'll club it in the next Paragraph (wink).

Okay! So you are not the Student Community! But you are Single! You may have had nightmares that going to the wedding may lead to get interviewed by some Seniors who will later come to your Parents with a Marriage Proposal (this is how Traditional Arrange Marriages happen in India). But you were forced to come! Excitement of meeting your Cousins is there. Nice, new Fancy clothes and Good Looks is another reason as you'll get some good Selfies for Instagram & Facebook with a Hashtag #WeddingSelfies #Cousins #Fun #WithBride #WithGroom etc etc. (Live for Likes that's what a Online store says). But wait, the real fun is now - when the Bride & Groom Family comes together during the wedding or the pre-wedding rituals! You have spot the Girl with long hair or the Guy with dimples! And that's where all other things cease to exists! I'll let you be in your imagination now! I am sure you got reminded of your last Wedding that you attended!

Well for people who are married, there are again two categories ; Recently married or with kids! For the recently married ones, it like a Suraj Barjatiaya Film. They stay away from each other, in different groups, but keep looking at each other; smile, blush; Family members tease - and you blush again; you tease the Would be bride & Groom - and you blush again! for the ones with kids, you have to balance between running around after your kids and doing with your Responsibilities at the weddings! Now if you ask me why are they given the Responsibilities, then well, the fact that they married and are raising kids is the Medal that shows off that they are responsible enough, isn't it?

And then there are elders or seniors, who have a say at everything happening right or wrong! they are like the Panchayats! they sit and flock together! They are always asked what and how should be done. even if they aren't, they would voluntarily do! They have seen more Weddings & the Rituals than the Marriage Officiant ( see the Meaning on Wikipedia).

But the Wedding is not just those couple of days of get together! It starts from the day it is announced! Based on what Role you have to play at the wedding, your Clock ticks! For example, if you are the Immediate Bride or Groom Family, your clock would cover the events like, Venue Booking, Food & Decoration Arrangements, Lodging Facilities for the Extended Family and Friends who would be coming, Selecting the Wedding Card and then sending the invitations which could vary from the next Door to oceans away! SHOPPING and Shopping & Shopping; Clothes, Gifts, Jewelry  - Never ending! And not to Forget - the Courtship period of the Couple! planning of the Honeymoon Destination!

It's all Like a Movie in making! All for Wedding Video and Photo Album! All for the Human civilization to Exist & Continue! I attended a cousin's Wedding a fortnight back and would attend another in the coming Month! When are you? 

In Love with Examination Results

Last month in India has been a calendar for fantastic events! Success - Tremendous Victory! a few that the whole world has looked upon and other few which every Home of a teenager has! I am not only talking about a man being sworn as the 15th Prime Minister of India, but I am also talking about the Board Examinations Results of tenth and twelfth standard Students, who would be in millions across all the State, Central & International board of Education! I see both events So interlinked to each other! I look at these events as one defining the other - the other defining the One!

How many of you know this teenager who scored 99.6% in his class 12th CBSE board exams? Do you know him? If you are on Facebook and an Indian, I am sure you must have read his memes by now! "Sarthak Agarwal" - that's his name! How many of you know Mr. Narendra Damodar Modi? Well, even if you aren't and Indian, you must know him. He is the man of this decade! But that's not my point. The mind boggling question is - how many of you knew him when his board examination results were declared? You can say, that the media wasn't as good as today, so we never got to know. But given this date, would you ever get to know the names of the people who matched Mr. Modi's Board Examination Percentage? the answer is a straight face - NO!

I might not have the correct numbers at hand, but largely, the students who score 95 percent and above get into studying Medicine or Engineering and if they could continue their high score in their life will end up working for some International companies as researchers or techies! As the score drops, the future becomes more Indian! chances are that they will do jobs in the govt or private sectors across various level of management, which is directly proportional to their score. A few of them get into Professionals like Lawyers & CAs. Going down the marks score, are the people whom we would see running Firms or Pvt Ltd Companies - Small, large or enormously huge! As it gets more lower, just close to the verge of attaining pass marks, are the people whom we would see doing clerical jobs! The above information is all based on my assumption, limited scope of this article and my limited knowledge. Exceptions out of this happen, and they happen in large number too!

On a normal day of our life - imagine your maid not turning up at home. No one to deliver the Newspaper. your car cannot be repaired because there aren't receptionists & mechanics at the service stations! Shopping at a mall is not possible because the floor managers aren't there to help you out! Given the educational background of our members of parliament, there isn't a minister in the house! the only people present are DOCTORS & ENGINEERS and lets count the top B-School's MBA. But wait, not ambulance drivers, no hospital staff, no workers at the R&D labs ... and the list goes on.

If you haven't got my point yet, let me put it straight. Why aren't the scores of all other students celebrated? These students grow up and become an important part of the nation building process! Personally I see the 70% and below as the risk taker and a person who understands and accepts failure. He/she is ready to take up difficult Life & Emotional challenges way early in his/her life compared to the 90% and above scorer. Recently, I got to know about a law graduate(read advocate) who was appearing for her CS final exams. She had been a pretty high scorer in her law studies but this was her 3rd attempt at CS finals! She had finally said NO to it! While most of her family members & friends criticized this decision, yet I congratulated her!

As part of this education industry, I see parents complaining, I see society comparing these scores and humiliate the one's with lower scores. We should take measures to make sure that the students perform at their peak, but once the results are out, I suppose we should celebrate their scores. Everyone's - Each one is successful! Because I believe school/college Examinations are not about how good or bad your score is, but it's about realizing your metal and what exactly are you made for to become!

In Love with Inspiration

Where does one find Inspiration? Where do You find it? Where do You look for?

Blogs? Quotes? Fairly tales? Success Stories of legends? or Great businessmen or innovators? Social Reformers? who else?

An Inspiration walked-In today at my Kalyani-Expressway Office (registered office of Winnominds Ventures)! His vehicle was parked outside, on the road - an old Hero bicycle! A Man in his early thirties, but I guess the living made him look a decade older. Looking at his hair, I am sure that in a couple of years he'll turn bald. Well-built, 5 feet 6 inch structure, wearing a t-shirt and trouser, which surely needs laundry! Tired, wrinkled and tanned face, with facial hair that seems like asking for a shave over a week! But Sparkling Eyes and a Smile that can make you feel the warmth of the winter sun!

Still thinking what makes this, just another man, an Inspiration? His Introduction - rather His New Introduction! He walked up to the office gate. I was sitting outside with Zubin & Francis, just about to complete my lunch under the warm winter sun rays. He kept looking at me.

"Sir, chintey perechen?" (Do you remember me?)

The spark in the eyes & the soothing smile looked so familiar. But I answered with an apology that I do remember meeting him, but was not able to recall when & where. He continued...

"Sir, aami aapnar office er samne theke onek baar gechi. kintu ajke apnake dekhlam, tai dekha kortey chole elam." (I have crossed your office several times, since you are here today so I walked in)

And then I recollected that the last time I met this man was on the final day of my tenure at Tech Mahindra Ltd. 3 years back. He was working there as a Security Guard. People in that organization were very fond of me, right from the Peon to the Centre Head. I still don't know why but with a lot of gratitude and thankfulness I can say, that close to 1200 people working in that office had immense Love for me. But He was different from the lot. I recollect having a few discussions with him at times; that he was once a state level soccer player; that he had to quit Soccer so that he could work and make a living for his family; that he wanted to do more in life.

Dipul Paul - 9874184755, 9836965096

I was so happy to see him. More happy to know that he remembered me. Even more happy that he still had my visiting card that I gave him while saying goodbye 3 years back. And the moment that made my day, was when I received His Visiting Card. Yes! he has left that job. He has set up his small business of Agro Products (rice, wheat, flour, pulses, oil etc. etc.). He collects orders from families every month and delivers them at doorstep, making the life of the residents easier! He has more than a 100 satisfied clients and he wants to serve more homes in Madhyamgram, Birati, Sodepur & Belgharia in the coming months. PLEASE CALL HIM IF YOU ARE IN THESE AREAS OF KOLKATA TO AVAIL HIS SERVICES.

I remember he told me 3 years back, "Sir, apni chakri chere nijer baypsha shuru korchen! Aapni aamar jonno Inspiration. Aami o aapnar moto hobo!" (Sir, you have left your Job to start your own venture. You have Inspired me. I'll also become like You!) Today, he has motivated me to live my dreams all over again! 

Now, I'll do more than my 100%. And, that every  percent more than 100 will be for him!

Where does one find Inspiration? Where do You find it? Where do You look for?

In Love with First Sunday of 2014

Happy New Year 2014

When I woke up today, it felt different. After a very long time I saw the clock tick 05:00am and I was not sleepy at all! was it because I slept early last night? Well, it cannot be! I remember I slept post 00:00hrs. Was it because I stayed indoor the whole Saturday? This can't be true as well, because I wasn't actually resting. I was rather not able to move my Injured Feet. Then what could it be? May be because it was the First Sunday on the Calendar Year 2014!

Early mornings are awesome - Specially the Winters! I understand and empathize with people who hate to wake up early, but believe me, if it comes from me, it has to be true. I generally wake up as per requirement of the day. But today is different! Winters at Kolkata aren't that severe, but one can surely feel the chill. On top of that, when you can hear your parents conversing in the adjacent bedroom, you anyway feel guilty about lazing around!

The day started with preparing Tea. For a change I offered to do the Service -  Bed Tea for Parents! Then it was time to loosen my Injured feet. I had met a small accident a couple of day back. No No ... that doesn't mean my New Year started with pain. I would rather say, i am done with the injury quota part in the first few days of the Year, and hence the rest of the year would be awesome! I have often seen that villagers flock down to our Locality from the suburbs to sell fresh vegetables early in the morning. So, the morning walk solved two purposes!

Just when I was back, Mom reminded me about getting the Doctor's appointment, and the best part was that I dint know where his clinic was. So, it was another opportunity to move out of home. But thanks to my fellow residents in my building, I couldn't use my Motorbike - they are yet to understand the parking rules. Guess what? I found a unlocked bicycle. I am sure you know what I did next. It's been more than 5 years that I had sold off my bicycle, and it was evident from the first few push on the pedals, that I was out of touch!

So much in just a few early hours, and the Sun hasn't come up properly yet! It's now time to head back into the Kitchen! I still have a lot more to get from my First Sunday of 2014.

How was yours??? :)

Happy New Year! Have a Awesome Year ahead and add more memories to Life this Year!

In Love with Conversation

In Love with Her Mind!

I love the way you look at me, I love the way you talk.

I love the way you pick me up, And then take me for a walk.

I love it when you come from behind, and wrap me in your arms.

I love to get up with your calls every day, the only Soothing morning Alarm!

Those times when you come along, when I am with my friends.

I notice that loving stare at me, in-between the Girly Gossips that never ends!

My shopping spree has troubled so many, but you never complain,

I know that you are using your heart that time, because others use their brain!

I irritate you every day with questions like "Am I looking fat?"

And you console me each time saying, "you are the best lady I have to look at!"

In this era, when "I" as a "woman", have to  keep fighting for an equal Right,

Your unbiased thoughts, on Gender, Caste and Color,  brightens my heart with light!  

I knew you were my Man, even before you proposed!

To all other men in this Lifetime, that day my doors were closed!

Because that day you said you don't need to Complete me, & I was the Perfect One!

With all my inabilities and faults, you called me not the Moon, but you made me your Sun!

In Love with War

They said, "If you want peace, prepare for War". And we all did! As a matter of fact the whole world went into War, sometimes together and most of the times in smaller groups. Our Mythology, Ancient History, Civil History and current affairs, we all read about War! Peace is just a word in the book which has an alternate meaning given to it "Cold War".

Last weekend I managed to watch the movie "Madras Cafe". The story is fictional but supposedly based on some true events that happened a few decades back. Well I would be the wrong person to write a review, but I wish to share the thoughts that it left me with! The moment lights were switched on in the Cinema hall, I could see hundreds rising from their seats, and getting into a WAR to approach the Exit Door first and leave!

On a serious note, I was left with a thought - what is the true reason behind any war? All the Battles that I have read about in History, enlighten me with just one thing! Its Personal! A war is fought to accomplish Personal desire! or I should say it's created out of a personal desire! We may later Name it a Civil war, Religious War, Defensive War, Cold war, Economic war, World war or even a simple Emotional War! it starts with one Person's personal desires of achievement! Hitler had his own Desires and so did Saddam Hussain! But we cannot leave behind the desires of Roosvelt, George Bush, Netaji or even Mahatma Gandhi. So, the process is like

 One Person has a desire

 He/she takes action to achieve it

 If it doesn't affect any other person's personal desires, then Peace (Which has never happened)

 Someone opposes, then War

This rule might just apply to all conflicts and war, big or small! And it's always personal.

But I am more concerned about those people who get involved in this war and lose their own peace, without even knowing the basic reasons behind the event or how big or small this is going to be! The Movie too presented the same fact to me!

Well, I am at Peace now! Content! But as my first line read, this is just a preparation for War! And, the war can be can be as silly and simple as : Should I meet her tomorrow? - a war of 2 emotions; the war of Mind and Heart!

In Love with Routine Life

Most of you would have already lost interest in reading further considering the Heading of the Post insane. The Routine Life that we all hate, we all whine about; how can we feel love for it?

If you are student, you must have cribbed about your waking up early in the morning, the uniform, different subjects, so many classes/lectures to attend, so less of breaks (you even have to take a permission for a nature's call), tuition's, competitions, exams etc.

If you are an adult, it wouldn't matter if you are a home maker or a professional. You still would be waiting for the weekend, SUNDAY! The feeling of Leaving your bed for the sake of getting ready for the same kind of day is something you would share with almost everyone at your home and workplace.

After all this, how can we even think about falling in Love with Routine Life? Let's look at these incidents!

This part of the year (June) is about vacations for students. Mid Semester break / Summer Break -  whatever we name them, the meaning remains the same; we have a month long holiday! When it starts, all of us (students; their parents) are delighted. Some have planned for a summer camp, while others have a trip to some relatives or some tourist spot. How Long would you wish this to continue?  Forever? Don't you wish to come back and share the vacation stories with your friends? the same friends whom you meet every day in your Routine Life? Towards the end of your vacation, don't you start missing your day-to-day life at school? The fun in the one minute gap between the two lectures/classes. The movies/the coffees/the lunch/the gossips/the whining/the fights/the friendships?

This is also the part of the year when students are finishing their High Schools or Graduating. It's an important phase of our life! Each one of us cherish those years spent at school and college. Everyone wanted or wants these days to remain! On the last day, each one of us had/have the same sentence on our lips - I will miss my school/college days! Ask yourself? What is it that we would miss most? When we left school we thought we would miss school days the most. But later when we are on the last day of our college, we think it's the college days we would miss the most. Why the confusion? Most of our friends are still there in the same city. Is it that we would miss the Routine Life that we were following for the last few Years?

A month back, my neighbor passed away. He left his wife, four daughters and a 2 year old son behind. The grief was enormous. His apartment is on the ground floor of our building. Hence, I could not help but notice the lost eyes filled with tears, through the open gate and the windows whenever I passed through. I kept wondering, how would things get better? Who would help them overcome this grief? A week after the death, their relatives went back home. the children started attending school. His wife got busy in her daily chores. I felt so nice to see those kids laughing and playing with others in the evening today. No doubt that the grief remains. But Life has moved on! Their Daily Routine has helped them get over the Loss!

Wherever we are, whatever we do, most of us keep whining about our life. We keep looking for opportunities of a break. But as it is termed correctly, it's a BREAK! It helps us rejuvenate ourselves; Gets us ready to come back to the Routine Life.

If you still don't get my point! Take a long leave; A Leave where you haven't Planned the End of the BREAK! You'll fall in Love with Routine Life

In Love with Marriage

Yes! You read it right! All of us, are in love with Marriages a lot! So, what if you aren't marrying? or have had married long back? Today Someone is...! So, it's a time for Celebration; Delicious Food; get together of Friends and Family; Designer sparkling Outfits; Dance... and what not?? All because two people, not connected by birth, have decided to spend the rest of their life together.

Doesn't all this sound Heavenly? Right from the window of the Paradise! I guess that's why we say "Marriages are made in Heaven"! In this Humane world we have found and made something, that seems so out of this chaos. In midst of this Practical and Logical stage, there isn't one person who can come up and give a reason as to why s/he want to marry their partners with all the possible logic? It's a Feeling that cannot be explained! It can just be Felt! Ecstasy! Bliss

Have you ever thought what leads to marriage; how and why do people marry? Yes! we all know about Love Marriages and Arrange Marriages! let's see how it works (it's my own perception, and I mean no harm to anyone Living or dead :))

Scene 1: So, while we were growing up  - school, college, university, office; while we were competing with anyone and everyone to excel in our academics and career; while we made friends as who were like minded or shared the same locality/ classroom/ lecture session/ workplace/etc. etc.  - there comes this one person whom you have no reason to talk to, meet, or exchange information (personal or professional)! But still we do! Welcome aboard! Love has happened to you!  Would this lead to a  LOVE Marriage? or in other words, if this couple ties a Knot, would it be called a Love Marriage?

Scene 2: Again, while we were growing up and we were not able to meet this special person by any chance! What happens then? Here comes the role of our Parents and Family! We all know the right age for getting married (honestly! I still don't know). So, when it's time, and they see that we aren't dating anyone (which can be due to multiple reasons - we broke up with the one we had a relationship with, or, we didn't get time to think about a committed relationship while we were so busy creating a career for ourselves, etc. etc. ), they take up the ownership to find the right match for us! it's like playing that game that the infants play to identify shapes and alphabets - one particular object should fit into their respective space! And, since we all know that parents and siblings know us the best, they really are able to find THE ONE for us! So, would this lead to an ARRANGE Marriage?

Is there a Love Marriage, without making some major arrangements and adjustments?
Is an Arrange Marriage successful if Love hasn't sparked between the Couple?

It's a cliche that we, as a society, have created to differentiate between Love & Arranged Marriages! The Couple in Love has to let go so many inhibitions and overcome difficulties and hardships relating to their career & family to make sure they reach to the ground where they could tie a knot. And simultaneously, once people have found a match for us, it's hard work again getting to know and relate to each other and gradually feel the violins being played when you hold each other's hand . Having traveled across globe and met thousands of couples, I have realized that for Love to succeed, some proper arrangements are inevitable and  Arrange Marriages need that Love to blossom for a successful Journey called LIFE!

In Love with Dates - on the Calendar

If I ask you to tell me a few dates on this year's calendar so that you can narrate a story behind the reason you remember them, what date would be it? By the end of this post if you remember any one particular date, please leave it as a comment!

365 Days and then once in 4 years 366 Days! Each day several incidents happen around the world, so many important moments occur in people's life. Yet there are just a few dates on the calendar that we remember every year! We wait for them. We celebrate! And then we feel nostalgic looking back at them!

What dates am I talking about?

Let's consider International Public Dates, like the 1st of January (New Year); 31st of December (New Year Eve), April Fool's day! May Day! You hardly have to remember them! These are the dates that Plan our Life - we don't plan them! the stories behind these dates are available on Google and Wikipedia! there are also a few dates for relationships - Father's, Mother's, Valentine's, etc., and list continues! But yes, every time we celebrate these, we create memories!

Then there are National Public Dates, like the Independence day, Republic day, birthday of the Father of the Nation and other important person's, with national Significance, Birth and death anniversaries! Most People are way too busy to celebrate these days. It has just become a day that beckons massive discounts on products across all stores and a day off from work!

There are religious days like The Easter and Christmas! In our country, India, most religions follow a different calendar, so the dates with respect to the Christ calendar varies. it might fall in the same season  but the exact dates changes each year - Festivals; that describes it!

And then there are those Personal Dates! They are surely not important for the world or the nation, but surely, they are the world to us! Birthday of my Parents, Children, Siblings & Family members, Wedding anniversaries! on all such days, we surely go back in time to discuss "how & what" happened on the original date! atleast once for sure!

Is that it??

There are still a few left! These dates are remembered mostly by just 2 people!  The Date we met them for the first time! Our First Kiss! The First Lunch! Our kid's first Walk! These stories will remain with us, will make us smile, might bring tears too! But then, these are the Dates that come out the Calendar to Narrate Stories, and Celebrate Anniversaries! And sometimes all of these pass by very quietly!

In Love with Dreams

Love and Relations Blog

"I have a dream. a small dream. some big dreams. some verrry big dreams. little little dreams. grand dreams. lovely dreams. laughing dreams. beautiful dreams. desire dreams. power dreams. THE dreams. many many dreams. I have a dream." - Khushboo Upadhyay

While there are still debates on the concept of Dreams & Nightmares across the globe, no one is cent-percent sure about why they occur! Some believe they are the outcome of a random analysis of the data that is pushed in our subconscious mind with the help of our 5 sense organs every microsecond; right from the day we are born, while others say that they are a glimpse of our future that the Almighty shows us. We often see them at night during deep sleep, but our Teachers/Lectures & Managers/Supervisors are sure that Students & Employees can have Dreams with eyes wide open.

So?? what are Dreams? what are they like? what did you dreamt of last night? are your dreams consistent? Do you remember your dreams - last week, last month, last year...? Well! Dreams are Dreams! we can't have so many Questions attached to them. It can be anything like "running on the Watery chocolate cake with a 13 legged elephant like mouse" or "tying a knot on your grandfather's moustache".

But dreams are not illogical always. Leonardo da Vinci dreamt of something and sketched; Centuries later we have a similar device known as Helicopters. Someone, sometime must have dreamt that wireless communication was possible which might have lead to the invention of Photophone by Alexander Graham Bell and Charles Sumner Tainter. Mangal Pandey dreamt of a Free India which became a truth decades after his death!

What have YOU dreamt of? What have I Dreamt of? A BMW...? iphone5/6/7? A Bungalow .villa? south facing beside the Sea? A x132 Hellcat Combat to ride? Angelina Jolie or Brad Pitt as a Life partner? Fashion footwear customer designed from the costliest designers showcasing at Paris? Exotic Cuisines from across the globe?

I have dreamt of a Smile on every face. Love for one another. And a tear -tears of happiness in a mother's eye when she looks at her new born! 

In Love with Tomorrow

Love and Relations Blog

Out of everything that we have in our life's, it's the Love for TOMORROW that's most special for us! Look at each and every activity that we do. If not all, our majority of the daily tasks revolves around the purpose of making tomorrow Beautiful/Happy/Secure - for us or for others! May be we aren't thinking directly of the next day but all our actions are somehow based on what we want from our future. Right from the starting of the day, when we wake up with a dream to fulfill  to the last minute of the night when we check that the alarm is set and the clock is ticking!

But the Irony is that we don't know if we would wake up tomorrow to switch off that alarm! Something similar happened a day before yesterday! She didn't wake up! She came back from her college, slept and never woke up. A matter of 30 minutes! She was gone! With her dreams, with her goals, with her ambition, with Love in her heart... she left us! I still wish that I would receive a Text from her like everyday saying "Hey Brother! Wassup? You like my new Pic on the profile?"... will call me up to know how to reach a particular destination in the city... would send me forwarded texts now and then! But nothing's going to happen anymore!

I called her an Angle! But she never believed me! I am not sure if she knew how special she was to me- for reasons known to me and just one more person! She did touch my life and made it so beautiful! I don't know about how she was with others, but with me she was a person who lived Today! Happiness, Sorrow, Laughter, Tears, Anger, Kindness, Frustration, Calmness - she could feel it all in one single day. While on one hand if she could day-dream, yet she was one of the most practical and logical lady I have met! She had turned 21 last year but still had not shed that baby fat on her face! Have a great journey ahead Kiddo. I will miss you!

Life is short! More importantly - Life is UNPREDICTABLE! But yes! we all survive on Hope! We want to see tomorrows Sunrise! We wish to see the seasons change! We wish to see the February calendar of the leap year! We wish to see our next generation! We wish to see the wrinkles of maturity, knowledge and love on our face! We all wish to make a Bigger and Better future!

But in all this, just don't forget to Smile today and make someone else too! Feel Love! Express it! Because someday when I'll be gone too, I would want you to remember me for Spreading Smiles & Love!

In Love with Choices!

Love and Relations Blog

What would you like to have?    Tea or Coffee!

Which shirt should I wear today?              Blue or Grey

Let's go for a movie this weekend!          The new Hollywood flick or the SRK movie?

let's dine out tonight!    Chinese, Italian or Indian Cuisine?

let's plan a holiday:          Beach or Hills?

Life is full of choices! Right from the choice of the Doctor and Hospital where a kid is born, to the Cremation - would s/he be burnt in an open flame or an electric furnace; ooh! we can also burry them! We love to make choices, and if given a chance we would choose to do things where we have choices - Like shopping at a mall rather than a store! The best part of being able to choose is we already know that the product/service/action/person etc is better than the other choices we had. So, it's like an instant satisfaction of what we choose!

Let's look at our day! We already had chosen our time to wake up (that's how we had set our alarms). If we aren't on a strict workout regime, we can choose as to how long we should run today. For some of us, we can choose to bath or avoid doing so, depending on the weather conditions! What to wear to work? Which Perfume? Which wrist watch? What would we prefer having, as our breakfast? Which work should I complete first today? Tea or Coffee during breaks? Veg or Non-Veg for lunch? News channel, sports, or Daily soap? And even which side of the bed to sleep tonight?

Let's look at our lives. I understand that as kids we weren't able to make most choices, but hey! someone else did make a choice for us! Like which school/college to get admitted to? Which sport do we play? which phone to buy? Sit beside this guy or that girl? Our Profession. Which Car do we buy? Location we choose for our vacations! Even our Life Partners! Whom to date & whom to marry? It's good to have choices! Choice on the number kids, etc. etc.

I suppose it's the very reason that shows like KBC ("Kaun banega crorepati" or "Who wants to be a millionaire") scores well on TRP. The person on the Hot seat has 4 choices for the correct answer and then he has additional set of  4 choices of getting help. Sometimes the choice is just a YES or NO. Some choices are easy and others are difficult to make. But it has enough power to define our destiny! (consider replying for a marriage proposal)

Every choice we make, big or small, sets the path for our future set of choices, and hence defines our life. Some turn out to be good and some helps us learn from the undesired experiences. For example, If I choose to study literature, as a major during our graduation, the next set of choices that arise for my profession would be...??? I bet it can't be a assistant engineer at a steel plant!

If that's how powerful choices are, and if we really love making one for ourselves, then let's make them wisely. Let us help our Kids to choose a Pen over a Hammer! Let us give our women a choice to take a step out of home at any hour of the day or Night! Let us give our Elders the choice on how they wish to spend their final years of their lives! Let us give each other a choice to be Human and not just a representative of a particular caste or creed!

In Love with 2012

Love and Relations Blog
I am sure this year has been a special one for all of you, atleast with the context that we are alive and the Apocalypse, as per the Mayan Calendar failed to occur! Each one us would probably share this story with our grandchildren, while telling them about your first love or some other major incidents of your life!

This year has seen so much in this world. While the Master Blaster completed his 100th century in international cricket and decided to retire from the ODI's by the end of this year, Barack Obama retained his Presidency in the USA. Some pending issues related to terrorism got closed with the assignation of Osama Bin Laden and Kasab, while the world was left lonely when people like Steve Jobs, Yash Chopra, Pandit Ravi Shankar, Zig Ziglar, Stephen Covey,  Neil Armstrong and many more (the list is too big) left the world!

2012 also saw more natural disasters in the history, with the hurricane Sandy disrupting the East coast of USA and Earthquakes & floods in other parts of the world. But the people of Japan also taught us this year, that sitting back and crying is not what Humans were created for! life is back on track a Year after  the biggest tsunami that ever happened.

This year, while one part of the world was busy with the Olympics in London, India experienced the worst power outage in world history. While the Mars Science Laboratory mission's rover, successfully lands on Mars, researchers successfully perform the first implantation of an early prototype bionic eye with 24 electrodes.

Talking about a few facts within India it was astonishing to know that monsoon rains brought flood in Rajasthan. World Health Organization finally removed India from the list of polio endemic countries. Pranab Mukherjee was elected The President of India while Sebastian Vettel won even the second Formula One Grand Prix that happened in our Nation. More scandals came to surface while the Nation rose to JanLokpal bill and demanded fast track courts to make sure that the accused of severe crimes like Gang Rapes are put behind bars.

On a lighter note, I am still confused as to why this year the Gangnam Style was the most viewed Youtube video with more than 808 million views :D                                

Personally, I am in Love with 2012 because of what this year has given me! As a Entrepreneur I had the Best Quarter EVER in terms of Revenue this year. I got to travel & stay in new cities but very different from each other, like Bangalore, Vishakhapatnam, Ranchi and Haldia. An unmatched experience of travelling more than 4000kms in India without a Railway ticket. To my astonishment, most of my friends form school & college, whom I have grown up with and are from my age group, chose to marry this year ;) The rest, who didn't, atleast announced it! When I refer to Friends, I cannot miss to mention how this year redefined friendship! I was made to believe by destiny, that we make friends out of nowhere. We find superb people out of the least possible meeting places and circumstances - like a quick meeting, while on your way back home on a tired weekday, along the footpaths of Park Street for a couple of minutes.

On a more personal front, this year would be memorable all my life. After many years, the Cupid was finally able to hit me with his Arrow! Let's see if there is more to unfold in the coming year, but 2012 would always remain a Lovely Year for me!

Love and Relations Blog

In Love with the feeling "Missing You"

  "Sitting Thousand Miles Away"

The greenery has given way to sand,

As far as I can see is barren land,

But my heart still feels like a ship at bay,

Coz I am thinking of you, sitting thousand miles away,

Its the festive season, and a family meet

Everyone rejoicing at the dholak's beat.

But I remain so silent, I have nothing to say

Coz I am thinking of you, sitting thousand miles away

Hundreds & thousands people pass by

Some are expressive, and others are shy

I try to search you in the faces I see each day,

Coz I am thinking of you, sitting thousand miles away

I started counting days back, since the time I wished you bye

I wanted to stay back for one more day; yes I did try!

I now wish to came back soon... Hey!

Coz I am thinking of you, sitting thousand miles away

Love and Relations Blog

In Love with Expectations

After she reached home, she sent me a text. It read - "It was a pleasure meeting you. I really had a nice time with you around". My heart started pumping hard. She likes me... But it’s still pretty early... But she has a soft corner for sure... But how do I get to know? Let me ask her out... No! Not again, not so soon... A movie may be...or should I??... What if she is not thinking the way I am?... But she sent me the text... Can be just out of courtesy...but courtesies are just a Thank You... Leave it. Let her take the next step... But what if she is shy... After all, I am the man... She might be Expecting me to take the next step.

So, eventually I am Expecting, that she might be Expecting, me to take the next step. Have you felt this lately? Let’s consider a few more real life examples – I’ll refer them to MINE as I do not wish any of the readers/friends to feel that it’s about them!

I have no plans for marriage for some time. May happen, May not happen! Sooner or Later! It’s open and not definite. This mere though gives my parents a shiver. Every day and each night, that’s the only topic of discussion. But, now that they know that I am seeing a Lady (who, by the information that I have given them, is a perfect match for me), they are so much at ease. Nothing in reality has actually changed. No change in daily routine, at home, at work, habits and patterns. But, I have been able to satisfy their Expectations for me to get married (someday)!

Let’s take a few more real life situations. Your friend is a good friend (is good to you & behaves so well) because s/he might be Expecting a change in the type of relationship you share.

Your client is talking to you so nicely, and talking more often. You start Expecting more business from them.

Parents Expect their kids to perform better in academics. 

Your spouse Expects you to share every bit of details that happened during the day (or even night, if aren’t at home). 

Your kids Expect you to be more understanding and accept the new ways of living life. 

Your boss Expects you to perform two hundred times better. 

The cab driver Expects that you won’t ask for the change and would give away the rest of the amount as tip. 

The employee Expects his salary to increase every month (atleast once every year). 

The family of the patient Expects that the doctors would do a miracle. 

The politicians Expect to remain in power for ever. 

The citizens Expect that the Government should take up responsibility for every positive change (reforms) that they need... and I can keep writing on and on and on... ooh not to miss the very best: 

WE ALL EXPECT GOD TO SOLVE ALL OUR PROBLEMS.

The next thought that comes to my mind is that, isn’t HOPE that keeps the world moving forward. Then what’s wrong in Hoping all the above (and more) to happen. Or is it EXPECTATIONS and HOPE are not the same?

HOPE: I wish I was blessed with a Baby girl. I would love to be a father of a girl child.

EXPECTATION: I need a Boy child. Period!

Hope doesn’t bring sorrow with itself. In relationships, hope drives us to come closer. Hope is always for a better option – not a choice. But on the other hand, EXPECTATIONS hit you hard. In situations (mostly) where our Expectations are not met, our relation with the person falls in a soup. If we have too much of Expectations, then gradually our concentration (or focus) moves away from the person itself, from whom we are Expecting.

As a behavior skills trainer, I have observed in almost all the people I have met, that everything that bothers a person is somehow sprouted from Expectations. I am no saint either; else I would have attained Moksha! (But I feel I am pretty near to it). 

So the choice remains yours; are you in Love with the person Or the EXPECTATIONS?

Love and Relations Blog