Yes! You read it right! All of us, are in love with Marriages
a lot! So, what if you aren't marrying? or have had married long back? Today Someone
is...! So, it's a time for Celebration; Delicious Food; get together of Friends
and Family; Designer sparkling Outfits; Dance... and what not?? All because two
people, not connected by birth, have decided to spend the rest of their life together.
Doesn't all this sound Heavenly? Right from the window of
the Paradise! I guess that's why we say "Marriages are made in Heaven"!
In this Humane world we have found and made something, that seems so out of
this chaos. In midst of this Practical and Logical stage, there isn't one
person who can come up and give a reason as to why s/he want to marry their
partners with all the possible logic? It's a Feeling that cannot be explained!
It can just be Felt! Ecstasy! Bliss
Have you ever thought what leads to marriage; how and why do
people marry? Yes! we all know about Love Marriages and Arrange Marriages!
let's see how it works (it's my own perception, and I mean no harm to anyone
Living or dead :))
Scene 1: So, while we were growing up - school, college, university, office; while
we were competing with anyone and everyone to excel in our academics and
career; while we made friends as who were like minded or shared the same
locality/ classroom/ lecture session/ workplace/etc. etc. - there comes this one person whom you have
no reason to talk to, meet, or exchange information (personal or professional)!
But still we do! Welcome aboard! Love has happened to you! Would this lead to a LOVE Marriage? or in
other words, if this couple ties a Knot, would it be called a Love Marriage?
Scene 2: Again, while we were growing up and we were not
able to meet this special person by any chance! What happens then? Here comes
the role of our Parents and Family! We all know the right age for getting
married (honestly! I still don't know). So, when it's time, and they see that
we aren't dating anyone (which can be due to multiple reasons - we broke up with
the one we had a relationship with, or, we didn't get time to think about a committed
relationship while we were so busy creating a career for ourselves, etc. etc. ),
they take up the ownership to find the right match for us! it's like playing
that game that the infants play to identify shapes and alphabets - one particular
object should fit into their respective space! And, since we all know that
parents and siblings know us the best, they really are able to find THE ONE for
us! So, would this lead to an ARRANGE Marriage?
Is there a Love Marriage, without making some major
arrangements and adjustments?
Is an Arrange Marriage successful if Love hasn't sparked between the Couple?
Is an Arrange Marriage successful if Love hasn't sparked between the Couple?
It's a cliche that we, as a society, have created to differentiate
between Love & Arranged Marriages! The Couple in Love has to let go so many
inhibitions and overcome difficulties and hardships relating to their career
& family to make sure they reach to the ground where they could tie a knot.
And simultaneously, once people have found a match for us, it's hard work again
getting to know and relate to each other and gradually feel the violins being
played when you hold each other's hand . Having traveled across globe and met
thousands of couples, I have realized that for Love to succeed, some proper arrangements
are inevitable and Arrange Marriages
need that Love to blossom for a successful Journey called LIFE!
Shah Rukh Khan - Main Hoon Na!! Violin bajta hai jab pyar hota hai!! :D
ReplyDeleteWell, amazing take!! I also don't know what is the correct age for marriage..
My mother would be very happy to marry me off now!! Even though I didn't find anyone, either for that perfect love or or that perfect arrangement!! :D
Don't worry, if you find one and you aren't sure about your Love for the person, and you still would want to marry, It would be like you arranged your own Marriage! Many Wise people do this after they cross that "RIGHT" age of getting marriage!
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Deletethank u sir jii.. But i think it's waiting time for me..
DeleteAny time is right if one has the heart to do what he wants to do!!!! :-) :-)
Well good one.....but i have a view regarding this...according to me the basic difference in love and arrange marriages is that in love we our self choose that special person out of the millions with whom we feel the special connection but in arrange marriages someone else gets to decide that. I mean how do that person knows with whom we would feel that special connection with.....they choose a person for us and tell us to spend our entire life with them....most of arrange marriages survive because the there is no other option but to love the person we are married to...common a third person(may be our parents or may be relatives) deciding with whom we would spend our ENTIRE LIFE.....IS THIS LOGICAL???
ReplyDeleteThat is why I mentioned this aspect of arrange marriages happening in the absence of a relationship in the person's life! if you have a relationship and you can dare to make some arrangements, it would lead to a Marriage!
DeleteThe Mantra here is : There is some arrangement in Love and some love is all the Arrangements for a Marriage to happen!
love or arrange marriage - its not about how we choose.. its more about how we live....how we compromise and change our personal aspects to fit into each other's lives... how well we synchronize ... if the mutual balance is perfect, it doesn't really matter whether its a love or an arrange marriage..
ReplyDeletevery true! that's were i wanted to take this discussion! there isn't much difference when it comes to MARRIAGE! Its a relationship that you have to nurture and maintain!
DeleteThere’s a beautiful quote from the movie ‘Shall We Dance’ in which the wife tries to explain why people get married. It struck a chord with me because this explanation of the need for marriage is gender independent yet not utilitarian – it talks about the spouse as a companion, a witness. It simply says that we marry because we need a witness to our lives.
ReplyDelete"We need a witness to our lives. There's a billion people on the planet... I mean, what does anyone's life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything -the good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things... all of it, all of the time, every day.
You're saying 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness'."
Preeti, although the post wasn't much about "WHY WE SHOULD MARRY", yet I would agree to each word from this scene of the movie. The only NEED for marriage should be "a Companion that would walk with you to witness your life", because all other needs are very short sighted [with respect to Life]. Once fulfilled we would have no reason to stay with our Partner!
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