In Love with Expectations

After she reached home, she sent me a text. It read - "It was a pleasure meeting you. I really had a nice time with you around". My heart started pumping hard. She likes me... But it’s still pretty early... But she has a soft corner for sure... But how do I get to know? Let me ask her out... No! Not again, not so soon... A movie may be...or should I??... What if she is not thinking the way I am?... But she sent me the text... Can be just out of courtesy...but courtesies are just a Thank You... Leave it. Let her take the next step... But what if she is shy... After all, I am the man... She might be Expecting me to take the next step.

So, eventually I am Expecting, that she might be Expecting, me to take the next step. Have you felt this lately? Let’s consider a few more real life examples – I’ll refer them to MINE as I do not wish any of the readers/friends to feel that it’s about them!

I have no plans for marriage for some time. May happen, May not happen! Sooner or Later! It’s open and not definite. This mere though gives my parents a shiver. Every day and each night, that’s the only topic of discussion. But, now that they know that I am seeing a Lady (who, by the information that I have given them, is a perfect match for me), they are so much at ease. Nothing in reality has actually changed. No change in daily routine, at home, at work, habits and patterns. But, I have been able to satisfy their Expectations for me to get married (someday)!

Let’s take a few more real life situations. Your friend is a good friend (is good to you & behaves so well) because s/he might be Expecting a change in the type of relationship you share.

Your client is talking to you so nicely, and talking more often. You start Expecting more business from them.

Parents Expect their kids to perform better in academics. 

Your spouse Expects you to share every bit of details that happened during the day (or even night, if aren’t at home). 

Your kids Expect you to be more understanding and accept the new ways of living life. 

Your boss Expects you to perform two hundred times better. 

The cab driver Expects that you won’t ask for the change and would give away the rest of the amount as tip. 

The employee Expects his salary to increase every month (atleast once every year). 

The family of the patient Expects that the doctors would do a miracle. 

The politicians Expect to remain in power for ever. 

The citizens Expect that the Government should take up responsibility for every positive change (reforms) that they need... and I can keep writing on and on and on... ooh not to miss the very best: 

WE ALL EXPECT GOD TO SOLVE ALL OUR PROBLEMS.

The next thought that comes to my mind is that, isn’t HOPE that keeps the world moving forward. Then what’s wrong in Hoping all the above (and more) to happen. Or is it EXPECTATIONS and HOPE are not the same?

HOPE: I wish I was blessed with a Baby girl. I would love to be a father of a girl child.

EXPECTATION: I need a Boy child. Period!

Hope doesn’t bring sorrow with itself. In relationships, hope drives us to come closer. Hope is always for a better option – not a choice. But on the other hand, EXPECTATIONS hit you hard. In situations (mostly) where our Expectations are not met, our relation with the person falls in a soup. If we have too much of Expectations, then gradually our concentration (or focus) moves away from the person itself, from whom we are Expecting.

As a behavior skills trainer, I have observed in almost all the people I have met, that everything that bothers a person is somehow sprouted from Expectations. I am no saint either; else I would have attained Moksha! (But I feel I am pretty near to it). 

So the choice remains yours; are you in Love with the person Or the EXPECTATIONS?

Love and Relations Blog