10 Things I Learned While Everyone Else Was Getting Married

1. Your ‘type’ changes drastically as time goes by.
Especially in your mid to late twenties. You start looking for deeper and more solid qualities like responsibility, honesty and integrity instead of fun, charming and super attractive. You begin to appreciate a partner you can talk to about meaningful things, about your problems, about your family and about your work because as you grow up, the things that matter to you change drastically too.

2. Finding the right career is more important than getting married.
Finding the right career for you is the most rewarding gift you can give yourself. It will give you something to look forward to and will always motivate you to grow and learn new things. It will make you a better person and a happier person and you will not have to depend on love to make you happy.

3. Modern dating sucks but it really teaches you a lot.
Modern dating sucks but with every dating disaster that happens to you, you learn one more thing about yourself and about the person you are looking for. You also learn how to love yourself and you learn that sometimes you have to choose being alone instead of being with someone who is not treating you right or someone who doesn’t want to define the relationship.

4. Invest in a few good friends.
Your friends will be your support system forever. The better friends you have, the easier your life will be. Good friends will get you through almost anything in life. Pick them wisely and you will always find someone to lean on when life gets rough. They will be your main backbone.

5. Don’t settle.
Don’t date someone just because you’ve been single for so long or because all your friends are married. Don’t stay in a relationship that is not good for you because it’s comfortable and don’t hold on to someone who doesn’t love you the way you deserve to be loved.

6. You have to know who you are before getting married.
Getting married when you’re in an unsteady place in your life makes you count on the relationship as the main source of your happiness and makes you follow your partner’s footsteps without stopping to ask yourself if this is what you really want.

7. Kids are not the answer.
Having kids does not mean you secured a spot in marriage paradise, if anything, it’s the ultimate test to determine how strong the marriage is. People who have kids when they’re not ready are really just setting their marriage up for disaster.

8. You will not ‘lose’ your married friends.
I think this is the biggest misconception – that you will not be talking to your friends who got married. Once they get past the honeymoon phase, everything will be back to normal and they will still be a phone call away.

9. You can make things happen alone.
You can get your dream job or buy that house or travel to this country without anyone’s help or approval. When you are growing up without being committed to someone, you truly have the world in your hands and you can just do whatever you want and become whoever you want. Being independent is a wonderful thing that will make you rich in so many ways. In this day and age, being single is actually a privilege — depending on the way you look at it.

10. Marriage is also not the answer.
I mentioned earlier that kids are not the answer but marriage is also not the answer. If you didn’t learn to find your happiness alone, you won’t find it in your marriage, if you didn’t learn to love yourself when you’re single, you won’t love yourself when you’re married, if you didn’t find yourself before marriage, you won’t find yourself after marriage.

People are told that marriage is what makes them complete but the truth is nothing can complete someone but themselves, their experiences, their passions, their hearts, their intelligence and their strength.



This article was orginally published by Rania Naim on www.thoughtcatalog.com

In Love with Marriage

Yes! You read it right! All of us, are in love with Marriages a lot! So, what if you aren't marrying? or have had married long back? Today Someone is...! So, it's a time for Celebration; Delicious Food; get together of Friends and Family; Designer sparkling Outfits; Dance... and what not?? All because two people, not connected by birth, have decided to spend the rest of their life together.

Doesn't all this sound Heavenly? Right from the window of the Paradise! I guess that's why we say "Marriages are made in Heaven"! In this Humane world we have found and made something, that seems so out of this chaos. In midst of this Practical and Logical stage, there isn't one person who can come up and give a reason as to why s/he want to marry their partners with all the possible logic? It's a Feeling that cannot be explained! It can just be Felt! Ecstasy! Bliss

Have you ever thought what leads to marriage; how and why do people marry? Yes! we all know about Love Marriages and Arrange Marriages! let's see how it works (it's my own perception, and I mean no harm to anyone Living or dead :))

Scene 1: So, while we were growing up  - school, college, university, office; while we were competing with anyone and everyone to excel in our academics and career; while we made friends as who were like minded or shared the same locality/ classroom/ lecture session/ workplace/etc. etc.  - there comes this one person whom you have no reason to talk to, meet, or exchange information (personal or professional)! But still we do! Welcome aboard! Love has happened to you!  Would this lead to a  LOVE Marriage? or in other words, if this couple ties a Knot, would it be called a Love Marriage?

Scene 2: Again, while we were growing up and we were not able to meet this special person by any chance! What happens then? Here comes the role of our Parents and Family! We all know the right age for getting married (honestly! I still don't know). So, when it's time, and they see that we aren't dating anyone (which can be due to multiple reasons - we broke up with the one we had a relationship with, or, we didn't get time to think about a committed relationship while we were so busy creating a career for ourselves, etc. etc. ), they take up the ownership to find the right match for us! it's like playing that game that the infants play to identify shapes and alphabets - one particular object should fit into their respective space! And, since we all know that parents and siblings know us the best, they really are able to find THE ONE for us! So, would this lead to an ARRANGE Marriage?

Is there a Love Marriage, without making some major arrangements and adjustments?
Is an Arrange Marriage successful if Love hasn't sparked between the Couple?

It's a cliche that we, as a society, have created to differentiate between Love & Arranged Marriages! The Couple in Love has to let go so many inhibitions and overcome difficulties and hardships relating to their career & family to make sure they reach to the ground where they could tie a knot. And simultaneously, once people have found a match for us, it's hard work again getting to know and relate to each other and gradually feel the violins being played when you hold each other's hand . Having traveled across globe and met thousands of couples, I have realized that for Love to succeed, some proper arrangements are inevitable and  Arrange Marriages need that Love to blossom for a successful Journey called LIFE!